Amelia Church of Christ - Christian Church in Amelia, OH near Cincinnati in Clermont County

This is week #2 in our teaching series called “God’s Extreme Makeover.” A lot of you have probably seen the show Extreme Makeover on ABC which documents the extreme things that some people are willing to undergo in order to become more attractive. But last week we talked about how these outer makeovers don’t fully satisfy. They help on the outside, but they don’t do anything for the inside which is where the real work needs to be done. Because even though we may chase after things to look better, what we actually want is to feel better.

This week I heard a commercial on the radio for a plastic surgery center. It was a commercial for cosmetic facial surgery and the slogan for this place was: come and discover your better self. That’s actually smart marketing on their part because they know that people are hungering to feel better, to be better. But what they’re offering is a dead-end deal. No outer makeover is going to do that. There’s no nip, tuck, or liposuck that can change the condition of one’s heart.

So in this series, we’re looking at God’s unique plan for an extreme makeover that’s internal. If we allow Him, God does the changing from the inside out.

The text for this series is Galatians 5:22-23. “But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self control.” (Galatians 5:22-23, NIV)

This fruit of the Spirit is the picture of the extreme makeover that God wants to do in our lives. For the sake of time, we’re not talking about all nine aspects of the fruit of the Spirit. Instead we’ve pulled out three that a lot of us struggle with the most. Last week, we talked about peace.

This week we are talking about patience.

When we experience a bump in the road or something that doesn’t go the way we want it to, we have a decision to make. We can either display patience or we react with impatience.

We all have impatience triggers. Everybody has their list of things that cause them to lose their patience. But let’s talk about a few things that are nearly universal. These things can cause almost every one of us to react with impatience.

1. Relationships

Nothing seems to test our patience like those closest to us and those whom we love the most. Every Sunday, people lose their patience getting ready for church or coming to church. I see it all the time. People sit there, angry. They don’t listen to the message. They don’t sing. They want to punch a greeter. And they’re coming to church! Something has happened in their family that has triggered them for whatever reason. A family member might have been running late, somebody didn’t brush their teeth, there was a wardrobe malfunction. Something happened. Relationships trigger our impatience.

2. Life circumstances

Sometimes life just seems to deal us a bad hand. There are times when we find ourselves in situations that we just can’t seem to get out of. The picture that comes to mind is running on a treadmill and not being able to get off and saying, “When is this going to end?” There are life circumstances that trigger your impatience.

3. Stupidity

There are people who just do things that we perceive as stupid and it sets us off. You know, you’re in the Kroger express lane. 10 items or less. You have two things. The guy in front of you has twenty-two. You know because you counted. You feel that this is stupid and you start to lose patience.

Comedian Bill Engvall has come up with a solution. Whenever anyone says or does something stupid, you just hand them a sign that says, “I’m stupid.” And then you say, “Here’s your sign.” A lot of us would like to do that!

These impatience triggers, whether they’re relationships or circumstances or even stupidity, are beyond our control. They come unannounced, unwanted, and unprepared for. They become roadblocks that keep you or I from getting at something we need or desire.

Then if you’ll look at the people that seem to live with patience, there’s a calmness. There’s a peace. There’s a depth. There’s an acceptance. They also have roadblocks. But they have figured out some way to maneuver around the roadblocks without hurting other people or crashing themselves. Those people with patience are very attractive. That’s what we’re going after in this series – internal attractiveness.

What I want to do as we unpack impatience and patience, is the same thing we did last week in our session on peace. I want to look at the picture, the biblical picture, of what patience is. I want to look at the problem that keeps us from it. And I want to look at the plan of how we can go after it.

First, let’s look at the picture, the biblical picture of patience. In the Bible, we find that there are two words for patience. One biblical word for patience is this self-restraint that doesn’t retaliate.   That’s a little wordy, so let’s sum it up by saying that biblical patience means “having a long fuse.” That’s one biblical picture of patience.

A second biblical picture of patience is enduring through adversity. In other words, “hanging in there.”

This is a picture of the patience that God wants to bring about in our lives. Having a long fuse and hanging in there.

Most of us probably understand why God would want us to have a long fuse because when we have a short fuse we hurt other people.

Ecclesiastes 7 reminds us, “Patience is better than pride. Don’t be quick tempered for anger is the friend of fools.” (Ecclesiastes 7:8-9, NLT) That makes sense, doesn’t it?

But what about this idea of hanging in there. This endurance and perseverance through tough times.

James 5:8 says, “You, too, must be patient. Take courage for the coming of the Lord is near.” (James 5:8, NLT) Hang in there. Don’t give up. God is behind the scenes working. Hang in there, persevere, endure, it’s going to be worth it; you’ve got to learn to wait on what God is doing. That is the biblical picture of patience. A long fuse and hanging in there.

Why is this so important to God? Why is this a fruit of the Spirit? Why does God want to perform a patience makeover in our lives? Let’s keep looking at what the Bible tells us.

Patience reflects love. In 1 Corinthians 13, God says that “Love is patient.” (1 Corinthians 13:4a, NIV) He goes on to list a lot of other things that are a part of love, but patience is very first on the list!

Ephesians 4:2: “Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” (Ephesians 4:2, NLT) Love and patience are connected. Isn’t that interesting? Sometimes those we love the most we are the most impatient with.

Patience leads to spiritual growth. The Bible says, “…the testing of your faith develops perseverance [or patience]. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything.” (James 1:3-4, NIV)

God uses time to change us spiritually. God wants to change me into his likeness and he uses time to do that. If you think about the nine aspects of the fruit of the Spirit– love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control – none of them are developed immediately. They all take time. What does that mean? It means that patience has to undergird the development of all of them. If they’re going to be developed in our life we need patience. Patience leads to spiritual growth.

Also, patience is rewarded. How is it rewarded?

Think about how it might be rewarded today. It’s going to be rewarded because people are going to like you more if you’re patient. You’re going to have better relationships. You’re going to have more peace in your life. You’re going to be respected. In essence you will be more attractive. That’s going to be rewarded here on earth.

The Bible also teaches that patience is going to be rewarded in eternity. When we persevere, we’re patient during trials, there will be a reward for that.

The Bible says in James 1:12, “God blesses those who patiently endure testing and temptation. Afterward they will receive the crown of life that God has promised to those who love him.” (James 1:12, NLT) 

That’s a quick picture of the idea of patience as we find it in the Bible. Patience is very attractive and very much wanted. But like the other fruit of the Spirit, it’s difficult to own. When life throws us a curve ball, why do we strike out with impatience? Because there are problems with patience.

What are these problems that keep us from patience? What contributes to our impatience? There are many of them. But I want to talk about a few I think are relevant to us today.

1. Overload.

Last week we learned how noise is an enemy of peace. There were a lot of heads nodding as we discussed that. Why do we resonate with that? Because we’re crazy! We’re crazy people. We try to cram too much stuff into our schedules and it results in a lifestyle that has no elasticity. It has no breathing room. There’s no margin for error. We’ve overloaded our lives.

The image that comes to mind is the image of a cup. You refill your drink at some fast food restaurant and you fill it to the very, very, very top. Then you have to try to walk back to your seat with that full cup. As wrong move will cause spillage.

Here’s the deal with that picture. When you schedule your life that full, you create situations that force spillage. And that spillage isn’t harmless like water or a soda. The spillage that comes out is words of frustration. Regrettable action. Tense confrontation. All because you’ve overloaded. That’s an enemy of patience.

2. Here’s another one. Expectations.

When you live your life filled with expectations you’re going to suffer disappointment and deflation of patience. I’m not just talking about unrealistic expectations but also plain, everyday, ordinary expectations. Other people will let you down.

I let people down all the time. I let people down, and I don’t even know I let them down. Everybody has a different expectation of their pastor and it’s just not possible for me to fulfill them all. So I disappoint people because I don’t live up to their expectation. We all become impatient with others because they don’t live up to our expectations.

And if you really want to unpack this a little deeper, we don’t only place expectations on people, we place expectations on God. And for some of you, you live a life where you feel like God has let you down. Because he hasn’t lived up to your expectations. Even though in the Bible he never promises that. Some people walk away from the church and they walk away from their faith because they’ve placed these expectations on God. When you lose your patience with God, your patience with others decreases as well. Expectation can be a nasty thing. It’s an enemy of patience.

3. Pride

Pride is the over inflated view of ourselves that impacts our patience because it makes us devalue other people. Impatience appears when my pride is challenged, when I think I’m more deserving or I’m more qualified. “How dare they?” or “I deserve better treatment.” When my pride is triggered, my ego puffs up and my impatience blows out. Because I think I’m something special. That’s one of the reasons the Bible says pride is hated by God.

These aren’t the only problems that keep us from patience, but they are some of the biggies. So what do we do about it? We follow God’s plan for patience in our lives. The Plan, starts with this….

You reflect before you respond.

If you’re going to go after patience you have to have reflection. Because reflection gives you that necessary perspective that fuels patience. You have to have perspective if you’re going to have patience.

This is deeper than a breathing technique. This is deeper than just counting to 10. I can count to 10 very fast and I can still be ticked off after I get there. My impatience is typically that knee-jerk reaction where I haven’t allowed myself to stop and think, to go inside and say, “What’s broken about me that caused me to react like that? Why do I go berserk so easily and frequently?” The only way to find that out is to have reflection.

When I don’t reflect, I run into trouble. When I was younger, I worked as a DJ for a radio station. One particular evening when I was on the air, everything, and I mean everything, was going wrong. And I lost my patience. This was back before the days when everything is broadcast from a computer. We were still playing commercials off of these broadcast carts that kind of looked like a glorified 8-track tape if you remember those. Well, I allowed myself to react with impatience at everything that was going wrong, and I took one of those commercial carts and I said a not-so-nice word as I threw that cart as hard as I could against the door of the studio. It shattered into a thousand pieces. You know what I had to do then? I had to stay an extra hour that evening, dig up the script for that commercial that I broke, and re-record it again myself. If I had stopped and reflected on this, I would have figured out that it’s just one night. Everybody has a bad night but the sun will come up tomorrow. It’s not that big of a deal. But instead of reflecting, I reacted and I multiplied my problems.

Understand that patience isn’t natural. It is spiritual. Impatience is natural. And when I reflect I delay what’s natural, I delay that knee jerk reaction, then I can respond with what’s spiritual. I delay what’s natural so I can respond with what’s spiritual.

The Bible says, “A patient man has great understanding, but a quick-tempered man displays folly.” (Proverbs 14:29, NIV) Understanding helps me realize that patience is deeper than an etiquette technique to learn and that I must reflect upon that situation, why I lost my patience. If I don’t reflect, then the Bible says that I’m a fool. Because that situation is going to come back again. I will see that situation again. If I have no reflection I’m never going to have patience.

Now, if I reflect before I respond, then I still have to respond. So how should I respond?” You reflect before responding and…

2. You respond with prayer.

I know that prayer is such a churchy answer. Some of you are writing it down and you’re writing me off. Before you write me off like you’ve got this whole prayer thing figured out, let me explain to you why I believe this gets at the essence of impatience. When something triggers me, I can reflect. Is my life overloaded? Is it pride? Is it about me? Is it about them? What’s going on? I can reflect.

But then what do I do? I still have to respond to that roadblock, so I can go back to my default answer. I can yell and I can pout or hit something–whatever. Or, because I’ve proven that I can’t muster up enough patience on my own, I can invite God into the process. So I can either respond with what comes naturally—impatience. Or I can invite God in and ask for what comes spiritually. I can simply pray, “God, I need a long fuse right now. I don’t want to hurt other people and I don’t want to hurt myself. God, I know that you’re trying to do something in me. So Lord, would you take this situation that I’m in right now and would you make it an operating table and go after my heart.” That’s what prayer does. It’s inviting God into that process.

The book of Philippians says, “Do not worry. Learn to pray about everything. Give thanks to God as you ask Him for what you need.” (Philippians 4:6, New Life Version)

So I reflect before I respond. And when I respond, I respond with prayer.

Here’s your sermon in a sentence. You’ve got a choice. You can react when triggered and cause pain or you can respond with patience and cause change. When we react, we hurt other people and we hurt ourselves. But when we respond with patience, we initiate change. Your patience will change you and it will change others as well. God’s Spirit will be working in you and through you as you display patience in your life.

God wants to help each of us in this area of patience. And he has a lot of practice with patience. He’s already expressed it toward you and me.

2 Peter 3 tells us that God, “is patient with you, not wanting anyone to perish, but everyone to come to repentance.” (2 Peter 3:9, NIV)

If you have never made Jesus the Savior and Lord of your life, God is waiting on you patiently. Some people wonder why God allows this world to continue? Why doesn’t Jesus just come back today and take us all home? There’s only one reason that hasn’t happened: he is patiently waiting. He is patiently waiting for more people to come to know him. God wants to come into your life and begin doing his extreme makeover work. Most of all, he wants to lavish his love and forgiveness on you and give you the promise of eternal life. He’s waiting patiently. Will you come to him today? When is the reality show craze in our country going to end? I don’t know, but I hope it’s soon. Honestly, I can’t stand “reality” shows, but I know a lot of people like them.

Mike Edmisten

Tags: patience, reflection, anger, Fruit_of_the_Spirit, Galatians_5