Amelia Church of Christ - Christian Church in Amelia, OH near Cincinnati in Clermont County

This morning we’re continuing our teaching series called Christmas Specials. One of the simple joys of the Christmas season is all the annual Christmas specials that are on TV. It’s actually one time of year when there really is some TV that’s worth watching. And in this series, we’re revisiting clips from a few of these specials and we’re being reminded of some of the simple life lessons that are taught through these shows.

Last week, we saw a couple of clips of Hermie the Elf from the classic Rudolph, the Red-Nosed Reindeer. We were reminded that there is always a place for misfits in the family of God, which is great news for all of us since we’re all misfits!

Today, our Christmas Special is one of my personal favorites: A Garfield Christmas. I realize that this one hasn’t risen to the level of a Christmas classic. In fact, I’m not even sure it airs on TV anymore. But thankfully it’s available on DVD.

I grew up as a huge fan of Garfield and I still am today. I have the Garfield comic strip delivered to my email everyday. And my very favorite episode of Garfield that has ever been on TV is the Christmas special. It’s simple and funny…and it also has an important reminder about Christmas for every one of us.

For some of us, Christmas is just like the song says: it’s the most wonderful time of the year. And for some of us, Christmas is most definitely NOT the most wonderful time of the year. A lot of people here in our church family would probably just like to turn the calendar ahead to January and put the whole Christmas thing behind them. Instead of joy, the holidays are rather melancholy. Instead of togetherness, the holidays are a very lonely time.

Let’s watch our clip from A Garfield Christmas.

There is just something about the holidays that amps up feelings of loneliness. Our emotional sensitivity is heightened at Christmas and our sense of loneliness tends to increase. Some of you can relate to the grandma in that Christmas clip. This time of year is when you miss that loved one the most.

Studies have shown that it takes two years to fully regain our emotional health after we lose our husband or wife. And those two years can feel like an eternity. And those of you who have lost your spouse may feel like that study is a bunch of hooey, because you know that you’re never the same after the loss of your life partner.

Gene Appel tells the story of one Valentine’s Day when he called his mom. Gene’s mom told him that she had been thinking about his dad all day long. And the thing is, Dad had died 15 years earlier. She told Gene, “You know, there will never be another man like your dad.” It’s on special days like Valentine’s Day or like Christmas that these feelings of loneliness come in full force.

Some of you face loneliness this holiday season because you’ve lost your spouse, not to death, but to divorce. There are studies that show that divorce is as painful, if not more painful, than losing a spouse in death. When you think about it, you don’t generally blame yourself if someone dies. But when you go through a divorce, you can wrestle with feelings of guilt and failure. And when you combine these feelings with great feelings of loneliness, it gets really tough.

Some of you are facing this Christmas without a member of your family. Mom or dad, maybe a brother or sister, are now gone. And the holidays seem like nothing but one huge reminder that this person is no longer with you.

For some of us, we haven’t lost anyone to death or divorce, but the holidays still remind us of our loneliness. For a lot of us, our loneliness problem doesn’t come from isolation but rather from insulation. We insulate our lives so tightly that no one is ever allowed in. We feign the plastic smile and tell everybody that we’re just fine, but that’s where our relationship with them ends. It is possible to be completely surrounded by people and feel completely lonely.

For some of us, marriage is actually one of the loneliest places on earth. Marriages can be a place of isolation and mistrust. You go to these Christmas parties and you see everyone else all coupled up, everyone’s having a good time, laughing and having fun. So you fake it and join in with them, but on the inside you’re wondering, “Wow, they all look happy. What’s wrong with me? What’s wrong with us?”

I read a survey this week that said that 90% of men don’t have one true friend in their lives. This study said that 15% of Americans feel lonely most of the time and 78% of Americans feel lonely some of the time. And I’ll be that that number goes even higher during the holidays.

Loneliness is universal. It is a universal human condition. There are different levels of loneliness that people experience. Some of you will experience loneliness this holiday season that is much more intense than what others will experience. But loneliness is something that we all will have to deal with, not just during Christmas, but throughout our lives.

Christmas loneliness is nothing new. In fact, it’s as old as Christmas itself. There was a lonely woman at the very first Christmas. Her name was Anna, and we meet her in Luke 2.

Jesus was born in the city of Bethlehem, but when he was eight days old, Joseph and Mary took him to Jerusalem. They went to Jerusalem so that they could take Jesus to the temple where he would be circumcised according to the Old Testament Law. This is also when they would officially name him Jesus.

While they were at the temple, they met Anna. Let’s pick up the story in Luke 2:36. “There was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband for seven years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying.” (Luke 3:36-37, NIV)

Anna knew what loneliness was all about. She was married for only seven years and then her young husband died. From that point on, Anna lived alone. She’s now an old woman and she had been a widow for the vast majority of her life. Anna knew loneliness.

This debunks a couple of myths. First of all, it destroys the notion that successful people aren’t lonely people. Anna was a prophetess. This meant that Anna was one of the most respected, most admired people in the temple. No small feat for a woman in that culture. And yet she was lonely.

Even the most successful people, the ones who seem to have everything going for them, can struggle with loneliness. The successful author H.G. Wells wrote, “I am 65 and I am lonely and I have never known peace.”

The great composer, Tchaikovsky, wrote, “None but the lonely heart can feel my anguish.”

World-renowned scientist, Albert Einstein, said, “It is strange to be known so universally and yet be so lonely.”

Even Elvis Presley, the King of Rock & Roll, the man who sang Are You Lonesome Tonight?, struggled with intense loneliness. In some of his last words, Elvis scribbled out a note that said, “I feel so alone sometimes. The night is quiet for me. I’d love to be able to sleep. I’m glad everyone is gone now. I’ll probably not rest. I have no need for all of this. Help me, Lord.”

The idea that success is somehow the antidote for loneliness is simply not true.

Anna’s story also cancels out the idea that a truly spiritual person will never be lonely. Anna was obviously an intensely spiritual person, never leaving the temple, worshipping night and day. But in spite of her amazing spiritual life, she was lonely.

Sometimes we will reason that, if a person feels lonely, they just don’t have a deep walk with Christ. Because, after all, if Jesus promised that he would never leave us, then how can we ever be lonely? If we feel lonely, then that must mean that we are somehow spiritually deficient.

But stop and think about how God created us. Think all the way back to the Garden of Eden. God didn’t just create us to be in a relationship with Him. He created us to be in a relationship with one another. The first man’s name was Adam. God created Adam and he has this very special relationship with God. The fall of mankind hasn’t happened. Sin hasn’t entered the world and separated man from God. At this point, Adam can communicate directly with God. He can walk and talk with God. Adam knows that the all powerful, all knowing God of the entire universe loves him at the very core. Yet when God describes Adam, he uses the word “alone.”

Check it out in Genesis 2. God had created all the things in the world and he says that they are all good. But when he looks at Adam, God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18, NIV)

But wait, Adam has God right there. And God still said, “It’s not good for man to be alone.” So He created Eve. It’s not just about a marriage partner. It’s the fact that we need one another. I’ve heard people over the years say, “All I need is God. I just need God in my life. I don’t need the church. I don’t need other Christians. I don’t need other people. I just need God.” To some people that sounds super-spiritual, but that fact is that it just isn’t true. You see it right here in the beginning of the Bible.

From our story in Luke 2, we see that Anna was successful. Anna was spiritual. And Anna was lonely.

Some of you are trudging through the holidays with intense feelings of loneliness. Maybe you’ve lost someone very dear to you. Maybe you’re facing the holidays with a family that is separated or divided. You’re not sure that your kids are coming home this Christmas. You’re not sure how to get through the holidays with your spouse or your kids because of all the family tension. Many of us, on many different levels, will experience a degree of Christmas loneliness.

Which brings us to the question of how we deal with this. Let’s think back to Anna. We know she was lonely, but we need to look at how she dealt with these feelings of loneliness. Because if we’re willing to follow her example, we’ll come out of this with some hope.

When we’re lonely, we will try a lot of different stuff to remedy the problem. And most of the stuff we try ends up harming us even more.

I was in the third grade and it was my first true campout. It was with a group of youth leaders and a bunch other young boys from our church. At one point in the campout, some of the older boys decided it would be fun to take all us young boys snipe hunting. For those of you unfamiliar with this tradition, suffice it to say that there is no such thing as a snipe. But they conveniently left that information out.

So off I went, running into the woods looking for a snipe. I wasn’t sure what a snipe looked like, I didn’t know anything about catching one, but apparently this is what you did on campouts, so I was all into it. At one point, I stopped running through the woods and turned around to see who was following me. The answer was absolutely nobody. I was all alone in the woods at night, which was the older boys entire plan in the first place. I began to feel very scared and very, very alone. I tried to find my way back to our camp, but I was lost. I could not find the trail to lead me back to camp. At one point, as I was walking along the bottom of this hill, I heard voices. I looked up and I saw the glow of a campfire. I knew our camp was somewhere at the top of that hill, but there the hill was incredibly steep and there was no trail to climb it. But at this point, that didn’t matter. I climbed up that hill on my hands and knees. I crawled face first through briers and thorn bushes. I got really scratched up. My face and my arms were bleeding, but I kept climbing. It was worth the pain I was experiencing if it mean I wouldn’t be alone anymore.

We often react in a similar way when we feel lonely in our lives. We do anything we can to fill that void in our lives. Sometimes we start looking in all the wrong places and start reaching for all the wrong kinds of things to fill the void and to help counter our experience of loneliness. For instance, a teenager, out of fear of not fitting in, will begin to use drugs or begin to party so they will be accepted in a community. For fear of appearing small, we go into debt and buy a big house. For fear of going unnoticed, we dress to seduce or we dress to impress. For fear of sleeping alone, we sleep with anyone. For fear of not being loved, we search for love in all the wrong places. And we feel like it’s worth all the pain that these things cause in our lives if they will help us overcome our loneliness.

Let’s go back to our text from Luke 2 again. How did Anna deal with her loneliness? Luke tells us, “There was also a prophetess, Anna, the daughter of Phanuel, of the tribe of Asher. She was very old; she had lived with her husband for seven years after her marriage, and then was a widow until she was eighty-four. She never left the temple but worshiped night and day, fasting and praying.” (Luke 3:36-37, NIV)

Anna worshiped night and day. But we need to understand that this word worship is a multi-faceted word.

It could also be translated as “serve.” The idea is that Anna devoted her life to serving God and serving others. And therein lies a key to overcoming loneliness.

Loneliness is overcome by loving others. Look at Anna. Instead of allowing herself to become embittered at the loss of her husband, instead of isolating and insulating herself from everyone, she devoted her life to loving God and others by serving them.

At first glance, this makes no sense. Loneliness makes us feel empty and alone, and yet a key way to overcome this is by focusing on others? Yeah. It’s one of God’s upside-down, doesn’t-make-any-sense-at-first kind of principles.

In his book, Healing Hidden Hurts, Gene Appel wrote that what we “really need is to find somebody else who is lonely and reach out to them. You don’t need to find somebody to love you near as much as you need to find someone you can love.” (Appel, Gene. Healing Hidden Hurts. Cincinnati: Standard Pub, 1994.)

We are surrounded by lonely people that we can love. That wife whose husband is serving our country in Iraq or elsewhere. That person who will be spending their first Christmas without the love of their lives. That young person whose home life is a wreck and just needs somebody to love on them. That person who will spend their Christmas in a nursing home. Estimates tell us that seven of every ten people in convalescent-type homes never get a visit from anyone. Ever.

The best way to combat our own feelings of loneliness is to love other lonely people. That’s what Anna did. Look at what she did when she saw Joseph and Mary along with the baby Jesus.

“Coming up to them at that very moment, she gave thanks to God and spoke about the child to all who were looking forward to the redemption of Jerusalem.” (Luke 2:38, NIV)

Keep in mind that Joseph and Mary have just experienced the birth of this child. Anyone who has a child knows that those first few days with a new baby can feel pretty helpless and pretty lonely. “What do I do? I don’t know how to raise a child.” Now, compound that with the unique situation of Joseph and Mary. Mary had conceived before they were married. In their culture, that often meant being excommunicated from family and friendships. And really, how many people were really going to believe the whole virgin birth story? In spite of all the amazing, miraculous things that had happened, Joseph and Mary were still experiencing a very unique, very intense loneliness that first Christmas.

So Anna sees this young couple and their new baby. The Bible tells us that she went up to them “at that very moment.” She didn’t waste any time. She went straight to them, encouraged them, and loved them.

Jud Wilhite is the pastor of Central Christian Church in Las Vegas. He tells the story of a couple of ladies in his church family. They were at the grocery store and there was an elderly woman there who was handing out roses. They started a conversation with this lady and they found out that she had just lost her husband. She had also moved from Chicago to Las Vegas. She was facing this Christmas all alone. She said that, to try to get in the Christmas spirit and in an effort to combat her own loneliness, she decided to hand out roses and talk to as many people as she could.

Now here’s the cool part. These ladies talked and they both decided to invite this lady to come and spend Christmas with them. Isn’t that a great illustration of how starting a cycle of love can defend us from the cycle of loneliness?

The best way to minimize our loneliness is to focus less on ourselves. The key is to focus on and love others. And then that’s when God does something incredible in our lives. When we intentionally serve other people, we are the ones who are blessed!

Who can you love this Christmas season? Who can you serve? Who can you call, visit, invite into your home? How can you extend the love of Christ to someone who desperately needs it this holiday season? By becoming a blessing to someone else, God blesses us. By emptying ourselves of ourselves, we are filled with the Spirit of God. By loving, we wage war on loneliness.

Now, we need to remember that serving other people will greatly lessen our loneliness, but it will not erase it. And unfortunately, loneliness is something that we will have to deal with as long as we live in this world. We can combat it, we can lessen its impact, but we cannot ultimately defeat it. I’m sure Anna still had lonely nights even though she had committed her life to worshiping and serving.

But a day is coming when loneliness will be fully and finally defeated. Revelation 21 says that, “[God] will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain, for the old order of things has passed away.” (Revelation 21:4, NIV)

A day is coming when all the pain in our lives, including our loneliness, will be wiped away. God remembers the tears of loneliness we cry. He hurts when we hurt. His heart breaks right alongside ours. And he was promised that there will come a day when all of that will be nothing but a distant memory.

Loneliness was not part of God’s design for our lives. It is one of the nasty things that sin has brought into our world. But God will ultimately make things right again. That promise is for every one of us who have committed our lives and eternity to Jesus.

If you’ve never accepted Jesus as your Savior and Lord, understand that this promise is for you, too. All you have to do is accept God’s free gift of forgiveness. When you do, he promises to live in your life, to never leave you. And ultimately he promises that you will live for all eternity in his presence. It’s a free gift for the asking. He’ll meet you right where you are. We invite you to meet him today.

Mike Edmisten

Tags: Christmas, death, family, loneliness, Luke 2