Amelia Church of Christ - Christian Church in Amelia, OH near Cincinnati in Clermont County

This is the third week of our series called Identity Theft. In this series, we have been exploring some of the weapons that Satan will use to rob us of our identity in Christ.

Galatians 3:26 tells us what our true identity is. “For you are all children of God through faith in Christ Jesus.” (Galatians 3:26, NLT)

You need to memorize this verse. This verse should just roll off your tongue because you’ve hidden it in your mind and in your heart. If you are a disciple of Jesus, you are a child of God. Your faith in Christ has cleansed you of every sin and now, God sees you as His pure, holy, perfect son or daughter. You need to know that this is who you are.

And you also need to know that Satan’s mission is to steal that identity from you. He’ll use whatever he can to rob you of the joy, hope, and peace that come from knowing that you are God’s child. In this series, we’ve talked about how Satan will use things like guilt and disappointment to rob us of our identity.

Today, we’re talking about another of Satan’s very effective weapons that he uses to rob us of our identity…criticism. I’m going to go ahead and tell you upfront that Satan has used this weapon against me more than any other weapon that we’re talking about in this series. He has used criticism to rob me of my identity so many times. He still uses it today. And there’s one reason why…it works. It absolutely works on me. I struggle with this constantly, but it still feels like I let Satan win more often than not.

This Scripture from Proverbs has proven so true in my life. “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18, NIV)

When I started in ministry, I never knew that a verse like this would become one of my spiritual linchpins. When I started in my first ministry, I thought, “Wow, I get to work at a church! Everyone there loves Jesus and everyone loves everyone else. It’s going to be so awesome to work in a place where it’s nothing but love all the time.”

It didn’t take long for my naïve ideas about church leadership to be shattered. As a leader in God’s church, I have been on the receiving end of some of the nastiest vitriol that you could possibly imagine. I’ve been condemned as a heretic, I’ve been criticized about the shoes I wear, and just about everything else in-between. I learned very quickly that criticism and church leadership are attached at the hip.

Anything I do or anything that I don’t do will be criticized by somebody. But I know I’m not alone in this. If you have a pulse, you have to deal with criticism. And that criticism can rob you of your identity in Christ because it can change your focus.

Criticism can cause you to focus more on pleasing people than pleasing God. Criticism hurts. And when something hurts, we try to do something to make the hurt go away. So, when we receive criticism, it’s easy to think, “You know, if I try to please this person, they’ll stop criticizing me and that will make the hurt go away.”

Sounds good in theory…but it doesn’t work in reality. The reality is that you can never stop criticism from coming, no matter how hard you try. And the dangerous thing is that, if avoiding criticism becomes your goal, then pleasing God will eventually take a backseat to pleasing people.

I know…because I’ve done it. In the past, I have changed sermons to please people. God gave me the words to say, but I knew those words would bring me criticism, so I ignored the leading of God and instead operated from a position of people-pleasing. In those moments, I stopped being a preacher and I became prostitute. Instead of faithfully preaching the Word of God, I prostituted myself out to the whims and desires of people.

How about you? How often do you allow the feelings of people to trump the feelings of God? How often do you give more attention to pleasing people instead of pleasing God?

“Well, can’t I do both? Isn’t it possible to please people and please God?” Sometimes…but honestly, it’s rare.

In Galatians 1, the Apostle Paul wrote, “Am I now trying to win the approval of men, or of God? Or am I trying to please men? If I were still trying to please men, I would not be a servant of Christ.” (Galatians 1:10, NIV)

Paul reminds us that if we are trying to please people, we cease to be servants of Christ. Did you get that? If our goal is to please people, then we are not servants of Christ. Paul says it really is an either/or choice. You can choose to please people…OR…you can choose to please Jesus. The opportunities to please both are very rare.

And Satan knows this. He knows that if we try to please people, we cease to be a servant of Christ. So that is his goal when he pulls the criticism arrow out of his quiver. He wants us to focus on pleasing people instead of pleasing God, because he knows that in that moment, we cease to be a servant of Jesus.

So how do we avoid his trap? Criticism is coming. That’s a guarantee. How do we deal with it in a way that pleases God instead of pleasing Satan?

There are three God-honoring responses to criticism that I learned from Craig Groeschel. Each one is completely valid. Which one you employ depends on the situation.

The first response is to listen. Sometimes God uses people to speak truth into us by offering constructive criticism. Now, the key word is constructive. Most criticism is destructive. But, when you are offered constructive criticism, you’d be foolish not to listen.

The Bible says, “If you listen to constructive criticism, you will be at home among the wise. If you reject discipline, you only harm yourself; but if you listen to correction, you grow in understanding.” (Proverbs 15:31-32, NLT)

God’s will for you and for me is that we would listen to constructive criticism. Instead of robbing you of your identity, godly constructive criticism is the pathway to become who God wants you to be. It is actually an avenue to discover your identity in a deeper way.

Now, that’s not to say that it’s fun. Even when criticism is constructive, it still hurts.

The Bible says, “Wounds from a friend can be trusted…” (Proverbs 27:6a, NIV)

The wound still hurts. If they didn’t hurt, the Bible wouldn’t call them wounds. But wounds from a friend can be trusted. Constructive criticism is a necessary part of growing in our walk with Christ.

So how do you know if it’s constructive criticism? First of all, consider the source. “Wounds from a friend can be trusted.” Is this criticism coming from someone who loves you? Someone that you have a relationship with? Someone who truly wants the best for you? Someone who wants to see you achieve all the potential that God has planted in you?

Secondly, consider the motivation behind the criticism. If you did what this person suggests, would it benefit them or would it benefit you? If it would benefit them, then it is probably selfish criticism instead of constructive criticism. Constructive criticism happens when a person tries to build me up…not when they try to achieve their own agenda.

If the criticism you receive passes these stringent tests, then it is probably constructive criticism that you need to heed. God will use that to grow you if you will swallow your pride and listen to what this person is saying to you.

A second Biblical response to criticism is answer. This is a situation when you can supply information to help the critic more fully understand the situation. If you fill in the blanks for them, maybe they will come to understand your position and drop the criticism.

In Acts 11, the Apostle Peter was being criticized because he was eating with Gentile believers. The Jewish Christians were still holding onto the old belief that they should not associate with Gentiles.

The Bible says, “So when Peter went up to Jerusalem, the circumcised believers criticized him and said, “You went into the house of uncircumcised men and ate with them.” (Acts 11:2-3, NIV)

How did Peter respond to their criticism? Verse 4 tells us.

“Peter began and explained everything to them precisely as it had happened.” (Acts 11:4, NIV)

Peter told them about the vision that God had sent to him. Then he told them how the Holy Spirit told him to go to the home of a prominent Gentile. Peter told them everything. He filled in the blanks for them.

And check out what happened. Verse 18 tells us, “When they heard this, they had no further objections and praised God…” (Acts 11:18a, NIV)

The people who were criticizing Peter lacked information. By filling in the blanks, Peter was able to help them understand and they dropped their criticism. Not only did they drop their criticism, but they began praising God for the very thing that they had been criticizing!

Sometimes this is how God wants us to address criticism when it comes at us. If the critic doesn’t have all the facts, you can help them by supplying the facts and filling in the blanks.

But then, there is a third godly response to criticism…dismiss it. This is the toughest response to criticism, but it is thoroughly Biblical. If the criticism is not constructive and answering it won’t do any good, you have no choice but to dismiss it.

In Ecclesiastes, the Bible says, “Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you-for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.” (Ecclesiastes 7:21-22, NIV)

Do not pay attention to every word people say. Those words should set you free. God’s Word is telling you that you don’t have to listen to every word of criticism leveled against you. In fact, God commands you not to listen to all the criticism that comes your way. There are times when you simply need to dismiss criticism and move on.

Now, I know that dismissing criticism is incredibly difficult. Some of you are still having a hard time buying the fact that God would want you to do that. So let me show you an example in the Bible.

In the Old Testament, God called a man named Nehemiah to rebuild the walls around the city of Jerusalem. It was a God-ordained, God-directed vision for Nehemiah’s life.

Listen to what Nehemiah says in the book of Nehemiah, chapter 6. “When word came to Sanballat, Tobiah, Geshem the Arab and the rest of our enemies that I had rebuilt the wall and not a gap was left in it…Sanballat and Geshem sent me this message: “Come, let us meet together in one of the villages on the plain of Ono.”

But they were scheming to harm me; so I sent messengers to them with this reply: “I am carrying on a great project and cannot go down. Why should the work stop while I leave it and go down to you?”

Four times they sent me the same message, and each time I gave them the same answer.” (Nehemiah 6:1-4, NIV)

Nehemiah was building the wall around Jerusalem, a vision that God had planted in him. Sanballat, Tobiah, and Geshem had done nothing but criticize and try to hinder this work. So finally, Nehemiah said, “Enough is enough. I’m not coming down off this wall to talk with you.” He would not meet with them. He would not listen to them. He completely dismissed them four times.

You need to understand that God has given you permission to dismiss invalid or destructive criticism. You don’t need to answer it. You definitely don’t need to listen to it. If Nehemiah had listened to Sanballat and the rest of his cronies, it would have robbed him of the opportunity to be who God called him to be. Same is true for us. If we listen to invalid, destructive criticism, it robs us of our identity and it robs us of the mission that God wants us to accomplish.

If you constantly allow negative people to pour into your life, doesn’t it feel like it sucks the life out of you? That’s because it does! They will rob you of your identity in Christ. I did this for years. It hampered my ministry and it hamstrung my walk with Christ.

Thankfully, I have learned a lot of the last several years. I have been criticized for how I handle criticism, which is rather ironic. But I have learned that there are some people that I simply cannot listen to. I won’t meet with them. I won’t listen to them. They have proven that they will do nothing but drag me down. And I just won’t come down off the wall to meet with them anymore.

But, here’s the problem. That doesn’t seem loving, does it? Even if a person is hurtful and negative, even if their criticism is painful and destructive, aren’t we called to love them? Yes. We are called to love them. We’re called to serve them. But here’s what we have to understand…loving them does not mean listening to them.

I know some of you are still having hard time swallowing this, so let me show you one more Biblical example of a person who dismissed invalid criticism. His name is Jesus Christ.

In Mark 5, a man named Jairus, who was a synagogue ruler, came to Jesus and begged him to come and heal his daughter who was dying. Jesus agreed. On the way to the house, some of his servants came up to Jairus and told him that his daughter was already dead. He might as well leave Jesus alone.

Now, listen to these amazing words in Mark 5:36. “Ignoring what they said, Jesus told the synagogue ruler, “Don’t be afraid; just believe.” (Mark 5:36, NIV)

Jesus didn’t answer the doubters. He didn’t confront the critics. He ignored them. He simply wouldn’t listen to anyone who tried to sway him from his mission. When Jesus arrived at the house, the people laughed at him. He ignored them, too. And you know what happened? He raised that little girl back to life.

In order to witness the miraculous power of God in your life, sometimes you’ll have to do what Jesus did: ignore what they said.

Maybe someone is constantly questioning your motives and nothing you can say seems to change their mind. Ignore what they said.

Maybe you’ve been told over and over again about what you can’t do. What you can’t become. I remember a guy in Bible College who said that I was far too arrogant to ever be a successful pastor. Ignore what they said.

If anyone is voicing opposition to God’s Word and God’s will in your life, be like Jesus. Practice selective hearing. Ignore what they said.

So how do you know when to do what? How do you know when to listen, when to answer, and when to dismiss? This quote from Erwin McManus has ministered deeply to me in my life.

“Don’t let an arrow pierce your heart until it has first passed through the filter of Scripture.” (Erwin McManus)

If a criticism passes the test of Scripture, I should accept it and thank God for it. But if it doesn’t, then I need to be like Jesus and so many other Biblical examples. Ignore what they said. Dismiss it.

Now, there is one more response to criticism that we need to talk about. Only this response doesn’t deal with the criticism we receive. When we receive criticism, we can choose to listen to it, answer it, or dismiss it. But what is our response, not to the criticism that we receive, but the criticism we give?

The answer is simple: stop it. Now, obviously we’re not talking about constructive criticism that is given in a godly, loving way. We’re talking about criticism that is mean, nasty, destructive, and divisive. There is only one response available for the Christ-follower…stop it.

We’ve already read this Scripture from Ecclesiastes, but let’s dig a little deeper into it. “Do not pay attention to every word people say, or you may hear your servant cursing you-for you know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.” (Ecclesiastes 7:21-22, NIV)

The last part of that passage really convicted me this week. God is telling us that we shouldn’t listen to every word that people say because we know how often we’ve offered invalid criticism ourselves. “You know in your heart that many times you yourself have cursed others.” Not sometimes. Not occasionally. You and I know that we have cursed other people “many times.”

Listen to this Scripture again from Proverbs. “Reckless words pierce like a sword, but the tongue of the wise brings healing.” (Proverbs 12:18, NIV)

The word “reckless” brings to mind a lack of control. Think of a reckless driver. What usually makes them reckless? Their speed. They are reckless because they drive way too fast.

Same deal with our words. Speed is everything. Most of us speak way too fast.

The Bible says in the book of James, “Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry…” (James 1:19, NIV)

When it comes to our words, speed is everything. The Bible commands us to “be slow to speak.” But most of us fail miserably at that. Instead, we just recklessly let our words fly. Driving with reckless speed can kill you and others. Same deal with your words. Talking with reckless speed can kill others…and eventually, you. And God simply will not stand for that.

If you want to be slow to speak, that means that you will ask yourself some questions before you open your mouth. Questions like, “Does this really matter?” The question is not, “Does it matter to me?” The question is, “Does it matter?” There’s a big difference.

For example, before you criticize something in the church, ask yourself, “Does this really matter? Is this really significant, or is it totally based on my opinion?” If you want to find a church where you like absolutely everything, you’d better find one where you are the only member. And even then you probably wouldn’t be happy all the time!

No one will like every single thing we do here at ACC. It’s just not possible. Yeah, you might not like every song we sing or every video we use. You might not like the color of the basement or the arrangement of the chairs. You might not like every decision that is made or every sermon that is preached. But does it really matter?

Take a minute and look at the big picture…we are consistently seeing a record attendance. Our offerings are higher than they’ve ever been, in the middle of a bad economy. People are hearing the gospel. They are meeting Jesus. People are growing deeper in their walk with him. The Word of God is being preached. Lives are being impacted. Families are being strengthened. Eternities are being changed.

If I might state the obvious…that’s all good stuff! Seriously…who’s going to have a problem with this? Jesus or Satan?

I’m not saying that we’re perfect. We are so far from it. But I am unapologetically saying that our church is a move of God that is being blessed by God and will keep pushing ahead for God. So before you launch a criticism, ask yourself, “Does it matter? In the big picture of what God is doing in our church, does this really, truly matter?”

I know this is not easy because we all value our opinions. After all, they are OUR opinions. But if you honestly ask yourself if something really matters and the answer is “no,” then keep your criticism to yourself…even if you absolutely believe that you’re right. The question isn’t, “Am I right?” The question is, “Does this matter?” If not, keep it to yourself. You won’t honor God and you won’t help His church if you share it.

“But, you don’t understand. I love our church…I’m just playing the devil’s advocate here.” Well, at least you told us whose team you’re on. Gang, the devil doesn’t need an advocate! He’s doing just fine without our help. But when we criticize the Lord’s church over stuff that really doesn’t matter, we are being the devil’s advocate more than we even realize.

The same goes for criticism of other people. When you are about to say something critical about someone else, stop. Be slow to speak. Don’t speak recklessly. Slow down and measure your words. Does this really matter? Is it in their best interest? Are you sincerely concerned about helping them be better, or are you just trying to make yourself feel better? If it’s just to make you feel better, keep quiet. That is destructive criticism that will bring dishonor to God. Even if what you want to say is true…if you can’t say it in love, you shouldn’t say it at all. Valid criticism offered in an invalid way becomes invalid criticism.

Don’t forget what James says later in his book. “…no man can tame the tongue. It is a restless evil, full of deadly poison. With the tongue we praise our Lord and Father, and with it we curse men, who have been made in God's likeness.

Out of the same mouth come praise and cursing. My brothers, this should not be.” (James 3:8-10, NIV)

How many of us came in here today and used our tongues to sing praise to God, but we’ve recently used that very same tongue to curse someone who is made in God’s image? As God’s people, we need to know that this makes our Heavenly Father sick. Praise and cursing simply cannot emanate from the same mouth. God has called us to a higher standard than that. He expects more from His children than that.

So, how many of us are feeling called out today? If you’re not feeling called out, you haven’t been listening. Let me tie this up for you. You are going to receive criticism. It’s a guarantee. But you can’t let that criticism rob you of your identity in Christ. Don’t let that criticism cause you to focus on pleasing people instead of pleasing God. Determine whether you should listen to it, answer it, or dismiss it…and then move on. But don’t let Satan use it to rob of you who you are in Christ.

And when it comes to offering criticism, we’re on even more dangerous ground. Satan can actually use our words to rob someone else of their joy and peace and identity. He can use us as his weapons to take down someone else. I don’t know about you, but I want to take Satan down…not build him up. I want to be used by Jesus to build His people and His kingdom. Not the other way around.

You are God’s child. Don’t let a negative, destructive, critical person rob you of the joy that comes from your identity. And definitely don’t let Satan use you to rob someone else.

Mike Edmisten

Tags: criticism, Identity Theft