Amelia Church of Christ - Christian Church in Amelia, OH near Cincinnati in Clermont County

Welcome to the final week of our series called Beautiful. We’ve dedicated a three-week series to the girls. We are listening to what the Lord has said about women and beauty. And fellas, we’re also listening to God’s desire for us and how we treat the ladies in our lives.

This entire series comes from Psalm 45:11. “The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.” (Psalm 45:11, NIV)

Ladies, do you have that verse memorized yet? You should. This truth needs to be the core of who you are. This Psalm was written about Jesus hundreds of years before he was born. The king in this Psalm is Jesus. Jesus Christ thinks you are beautiful. This verse says that Jesus is enthralled by your beauty, and the mission of your life is to honor him.

Last week, we talked about how we honor him in marriage. Ladies, we talked about how you can be beautiful wife over the long haul. Fellas, we talked about God’s expectation for us in how we serve our wives.

Today, we’re wrapping up this series with a message called Stretch Marks Are Beautiful, Too. We’re going to talk about how you can be a beautiful mom. And guys, we’re going to listen as God tells us our role in helping our wives become the beautiful mom that God wants them to be.

Last week, we learned that God thinks marriage is beautiful. He also thinks that motherhood is beautiful. We know he thinks that motherhood is beautiful because he commands us to honor mothers.

Listen to some of these commands from the Bible. “Every one of you shall revere his mother and his father…I am the LORD your God.” (Leviticus 19:3, ESV)

God doesn’t just command us to love our mother and father. He expects us to revere them. To honor them. To hold them in the highest regard.

Last week we explored some of Proverbs 31 where the Bible talks about the wife of noble character. Listen to more of what God says in this chapter.

“Her children arise and call her blessed; her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." (Proverbs 31:28-29, NIV)

Did you notice how your kids treat her? They “arise” in her presence. They get up off their rears to honor their mom. They “call her blessed.” In other words, they give her words of encouragement.

The reason the kids do these things is because they are following their dad’s lead. These verses tell us that “her husband also, and he praises her: "Many women do noble things, but you surpass them all." Her husband constantly tells her, “No one compares to you. You are God’s gift to our family.”

Now, listen to the next verses from Proverbs 31. “Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting; but a woman who fears the LORD is to be praised. Give her the reward she has earned, and let her works bring her praise at the city gate. (Proverbs 31:30-31, NIV)

God commands that this beautiful mom be praised. She has earned a reward, and kids…dads…it’s up to us to give that reward to her. As God’s people, we honor what God honors. And God honors motherhood. He created it and it is a beautiful thing to him.

Look at a couple more verses, this time from the book of Exodus.

“Anyone who strikes father or mother must be put to death.” (Exodus 21:15, NLT)

God commanded that, if anyone raised a hand to their mother or father, it was punishable by death. Wow. But now, check this out.

“Anyone who dishonors father or mother must be put to death.” (Exodus 21:17, NLT)

Some of you parents are writing that one down! You’re going to memorize that one, aren’t you?

Now, these verses came from the Old Testament law, which is no longer binding. Some of you kids are really lucky that we don’t do things this way anymore, because, instead of preaching this message, I would probably be performing your funeral.

But while these specific commands aren’t binding, there is a principle here that is timeless. God honors parenthood and he expects the same from us.

Specifically today, we’re talking about how we honor motherhood. God thinks moms are beautiful, and he has some beautiful purposes for them.

According to God’s Word, a beautiful mom gives her kids grace.

A few years ago, I knew one particular mother who never seemed to give her kids grace. She had three daughters, and she set a level of expectation for them that was nearly crippling for her girls.

They weren’t allowed to get a B on their report card. Shoot, they probably shouldn’t even bring home an A-.

Her daughters were on diets constantly. They had to maintain the ideal weight that their mother set for them. Their whole idea of beauty and body image were warped by their mom.

They had to excel at anything they tried. Failure was not an option. I’m not exaggerating. This is how this woman raised her girls. And, not surprisingly, her girls really grew to resent her.

Moms, some of you are way too hard on your kids. And I don’t want to carry this too far, but if you have daughters, you’re probably harder on them. Some of you have set a completely unrealistic level of expectation for your kids. You need to know that, according to the Word of God, a beautiful mom gives her kids grace.

In 1 Thessalonians 2, Paul wrote, “As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.” (1 Thessalonians 2:6b-7, NIV)

Paul compares his work among the believers in Thessalonica to a mother caring for her little children. Although it’s not his primary emphasis in these verses, Paul gives us a glimpse of what a beautiful, godly mother looks like.

And one thing he immediately points out is that a beautiful mom gives her kids grace. He told the Thessalonians that, “we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.”

Moms, does the word “gentle” describe how you deal with your kids? Do they get grace from you? Your kids need to know that there are loving arms available to pick them up if they fall. The Bible primarily places that responsibility on moms.

Now, maybe you didn’t experience that when you were a kid. Maybe you had a parent or parents who gave you no grace. Maybe instead of open arms, you grew up knowing a clenched fist. That does not mean that you are predestined to raise your kids the same way. You can break the chain. You can change your family tree.

I know this firsthand. My mom did not grow up in a godly home. She was shafted and mistreated in a lot of different ways. But she broke the chain. She didn’t raise us the way that she was raised. And the ripple effect from that broken chain is immeasurable. Now, it is rippling all the way down to her grandchildren. And it’s not going to stop there. Who knows how many generations will be impacted because of her decision to break the chain? To do it differently. To be the beautiful mom that God called her to be. My mom always gave us grace. We knew that, if we failed, mom would be there to pick us up again.

Ladies, if you didn’t grow up with a beautiful mother, you don’t have to be her sequel. You can break the chain and be the mom that God has called you to be. A beautiful mom who gives her kids grace.

Now, if you’re the mom of a daughter, let me get really specific with you for a minute. Your girls need grace from you in the worst way. Especially when it comes to this elusive thing called beauty. All along in this series, we’ve been talking about what our culture teaches us about beauty.

According to Common Sense Media, 1 out of 2 ads targeting girls are about their looks. Did you get that? 50% of advertisements aimed at girls are about their appearance.

One third of girls 14 to 17 say they are too fat. Teen girls who read magazine articles about dieting were more likely five years later to practice extreme weight-loss measures, like vomiting. 60% of female video game characters are presented in a sexualized fashion.

Our culture doesn’t give girls grace. It gives them a completely distorted and unattainable standard of beauty. Moms, that’s where you come in. Studies consistently prove that parental influence is still the most important driving force in the life of a child. You can help your girls by giving them grace. By letting them know that they don’t have to compete with the media images that surround them.

One practical way you can do that is to stop putting your own body down in front of them. If your girls hear you constantly criticizing your own body, guess where that leads? It leads them to believe that beauty is unattainable. And as we said in the first message in this series, a woman’s perception of beauty is the driving force of her life.

Dads, you can also help this process along by praising the beauty of your wife and your daughters. They need to hear your voice, loud and clear and often. Don’t be afraid to engage your girls in conversation about body image.

Dr. Rose Calderon is the clinical director of the eating disorders program at Seattle Children's Hospital. She said, “A mother is her daughter’s leading role model, but a father makes critical impressions that help forge the type of man his daughter will date and marry.”

We’ve always heard that a girl wants to marry a guy like her dad. Dads, you need to living a life that is worthy of that. Your wife should be able to tell your daughters, “Yes. You should marry a guy just like your daddy. You’ll be blessed if you do.” Do you want your girl to marry a man like you? If not, then you’ve got some changes to make quick.

Psalm 45:11 says, “The king is enthralled by your beauty; honor him, for he is your lord.” (Psalm 45:11, NIV)

Dads, the king is enthralled by the beauty of your wife and your daughters. Treat them accordingly.

Moms, you are called to honor the king, and you do that when you give your kids grace. Your King, Jesus, has given you grace. And He has called you to pass that on to your kids. Some of you really need to ease up. Stop pushing so hard. Stop demanding so much. Give your kids grace.

But, we’ve got to understand what Biblical grace is. Grace isn’t a free pass to do wrong. Grace will pick you up when you fall, but it doesn’t allow you to completely ignore the principles of right and wrong.

That’s why the Bible tells us that a beautiful mom gives her kids truth. Grace and truth are not contradictions. They’re partners. You can’t have one without the other. So, as you give your kids grace, you also have to give them truth.

Let’s go back to Proverbs 31 again. This is a great verse for moms. “She speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:16, NIV)

A beautiful mom speaks the truth. You can’t be afraid to give your kids the hard, unvarnished truth. You do it in a gentle tone. The Bible never praises a mom who screams and berates her kids. But it does praise moms who are willing to gently but firmly tell their kids the truth.

Some of you need to ease up on your kids, like we talked about earlier. But on the flip side of that, some of you need to toughen up on your kids. If you never tell your kids the truth, if there is never any consequence for doing wrong, if you are all threats and no follow-through, you need to know that a beautiful mom is one who will give her kids the truth.

Biblically speaking, the primary disciplinarian in the family is the father. But that doesn’t mean that a mom doesn’t offer discipline as well. And, if you’re a single mom or your husband is a loser who isn’t engaged with his kids, then this becomes even more important.

Proverbs 31 says that a beautiful mom, “speaks with wisdom, and faithful instruction is on her tongue.” (Proverbs 31:16, NIV)

Moms, that means that your kids aren’t right all the time. It means that they don’t always get their way. It means that there might be times when your kids don’t like you very much. And it means that you need to encourage and support your husband in his role as the primary disciplinarian in your family.

Dads, you need to know your role. Your wife is the primary grace giver for your kids. It doesn’t mean that you never give them grace. You absolutely do. But God designed moms to have a softer touch. She is the primary giver of grace.

You are the primary giver of truth. Your wife also gives truth to her kids, but the primary emphasis for truth, discipline, and correction is on you. If you want your wife to be the beautiful mom that God designed her to be, that means that you have to be the kind of dad that He designed you to be.

Let me ask you something, dads. If your wife tells the kids, “Just wait until your father gets home,” is that a jolt or a joke to your kids? Your wife needs you to be the one who lovingly disciplines the kids. She can partner with you, but she’s not designed to do that on her own. When you wimp out in this, it has a devastating ripple effect in the lives of your wife and kids.

Wives, some of you need to stop undercutting your husband. When your husband disciplines the kids, it is not your role to undermine it. If you have an issue, then discuss it behind closed doors. But your kids need to see you fully supporting your husband when he offers truth and discipline. If you undercut him, you keep him from being the father that God designed him to be. And you rob your kids of the truth that they desperately need to be taught. A beautiful mom is one who makes sure her kids receive the truth.

But ultimately, a beautiful mom gives her kids the gospel.

Every mom has dreams for her kids. You have dreams about the college they’ll attend, the careers they’ll pursue, the person they’ll marry. You dream about grandchildren. You dream about your kids living a happy and blessed life.

But what are your spiritual dreams for your kids? What do you dream about them accomplishing for God’s Kingdom? How do you dream about them impacting this world for Christ?

A lot of you don’t have any dreams like that, because your kids’ spiritual life isn’t your first priority. Your priority is helping them get good grades so they can go to a good college and get a good job to make good money. Can I point something out here? None of that matters if your kid goes to hell.

Is that blunt? Yeah. Is it that important? Yeah. You don’t have time to be passive about your kids spiritual life. You’ve got to give them the gospel.

Let’s go back to what Paul wrote to the believers in Thessalonica again. He said, “As apostles of Christ we could have been a burden to you, but we were gentle among you, like a mother caring for her little children.

We loved you so much that we were delighted to share with you not only the gospel of God but our lives as well, because you had become so dear to us.” (1 Thessalonians 2:6b-8 NIV)

Paul tells us that a beautiful mother shares “the gospel of God” with her kids. The problem is that a lot of Christian parents believe it’s the church’s job to do that.

Parents, it is not the church’s job to disciple your kids. It’s your job. We have a children’s minister and a youth minister in our church. But their job is not to be the primary source of spiritual instruction for your kids. That’s your job. Melanie and Brian are here to partner with you. To reinforce what your kids are already learning at home.

But if you think that they are here to do your job, you are sadly mistaken. You are the spiritual leader for your kids. It is your job to give your kids the gospel. Melanie and Brian have the kids for maybe an hour a week. You are with them everyday. They can’t begin to compare to the influence that you have on your kids.

So let me ask you, how comfortable are you talking about Jesus to your kids? Do you pray with them? Do you read Scripture with them? Do you look for opportunities to teach them spiritual truths? Or are you trying to contract that work out to somebody else and just hoping that your kids will get it?

Your kids need to hear the gospel in your words. They need to see it in your lives. If they see you just taking up space in a church for an hour on Sundays, then that is probably the faith they will have as adults. But if they see you living radically sold-out to Jesus, then you probably have a world changer living under your roof. Someone who is going to take this world by storm for the cause of Christ.

But parents, it is on you. As good as our staff is, they can’t do your job for you. You need to look for every possible opportunity to give your kids the gospel, in your words and in your actions.

Nothing else you give your kids makes a dime’s worth of difference if you don’t give them the gospel.

In Philippians 3, the Apostle Paul wrote, “If anyone else thinks he has reasons to put confidence in the flesh, I have more: circumcised on the eighth day, of the people of Israel, of the tribe of Benjamin, a Hebrew of Hebrews;

in regard to the law, a Pharisee; as for zeal, persecuting the church; as for legalistic righteousness, faultless.” (Philippians 3:4b-6, NIV)

I know a lot of this doesn’t make sense in our cultural context, but here’s what you need to know. Paul is telling us that his pedigree was top notch. He was from the right family. He climbed the social ladder. He was the crème de la crème.

But look at what he says in the next verse. “But whatever was to my profit I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. What is more, I consider everything a loss compared to the surpassing greatness of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things.

I consider them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in him…” (Philippians 3:7-9a, NIV)

After all that he had achieved, Paul looked at his resume and said that he considered it all rubbish. That’s actually a nice way to translate what he said. The original Greek word that Paul used here wasn’t that nice. Many scholars believe that Paul used a word that starts with “s” to describe all that he had accomplished.

That’s strong, but that was his point. Everything you have, everything you accomplish, it’s a bunch of garbage compared to knowing Christ.

Everything you give your kids…if you don’t give them Christ, you can flush the rest of it down the toilet. It just doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter if your kid gets straight A’s. It doesn’t matter if she is the homecoming queen. It doesn’t matter if he is the starting quarterback. It doesn’t matter if they are the valedictorian. It doesn’t matter what college they attend, what career field they enter, and how many zeros will be on the paycheck. If you don’t give them the gospel, it’s all worthless.

Moms, Dads, it’s time for us to stop majoring in the minors. It’s time we stop focusing so much attention on stuff that doesn’t matter. It’s time that we step up and give our kids the one thing that really does matter…the gospel.

Mike Edmisten

Tags: Beautiful, family, marriage, motherhood, parenting