Amelia Church of Christ - Christian Church in Amelia, OH near Cincinnati in Clermont County

Today we’re starting a two-part series called Not Just Plumbing: Real Femininity and Masculinity in a Fallen World.   In this first installment in this series, we’re going to talk about Real Femininity. We’re going to save the second message on real masculinity until June 18, which is Father’s Day.

But today, we’re talking about real femininity. Our world has a lot of stuff to say to women today. Because of radical feminism, the sexual revolution, etc., real, godly femininity has become, at the very least, blurred. At times, it has been completely lost. Today we want to cut through what our culture may or may not say about women. We’re going to slow down and listen as God speaks this morning. We’re going to see how the truth of God trumps the wisdom of our world. Even though this is Mother’s Day, this message isn’t just for moms. It’s for all our ladies, from our teens up through senior citizens. And guys, don’t just check out this morning because there are some things we need to know about the ladies that are in our lives.

Let’s jump into this. Ladies, there are a few things that God is dying to say to you this morning. I hope you’ll listen to these four affirmations of truth from God as they contradict the wisdom of our world.

God first affirmation for our ladies: “I created you to be different.” As the name of this series indicates, the differences between men and women go beyond plumbing. There is more then the differences you learned about in health class. It is more than anatomy. Men and women are different.

Some of you guys are thinking, “Wow. You’re not kidding they’re different. I’m still trying to figure my wife out.” Ladies, I’m saying this in the spirit of Christian love, but you can be complicated! You can be tough for us guys to figure out.

There are some topics that I’m pretty comfortable preaching about. Most Sundays I feel pretty confident that I know what I’m talking about. This is not one of those days. Today we’re talking about women. How do you prepare for a message like this?

I thought about getting in touch with my feminine side by watching Lifetime because, as you know, that’s “television for women.” But even my feminine side doesn’t like the movies on Lifetime. I don’t understand the appeal of bad actors and cheesy, predictable plots, which pretty much sums up every Lifetime movie I’ve ever seen. I thought about watching The View. Five women sitting around talking…but for my money, a little Barbara Walters goes a LONG way.

I wrote this sermon sitting in Starbucks, and the place was full of women. I thought about asking one of them to help educate me on my topic, but I began to wonder how much they would appreciate some strange man walking up and asking some pretty weird questions. I didn’t know if any of them had mace in their purse, and I really didn’t want to find out.

Finally, I considered asking my wife to tell me about women, but I thought about how that conversation would go. I’m pretty sure it would end with her rolling her eyes and laughing at my ignorance.

The plain fact is that women are different from men. But let’s remember these differences are God-given. The differences are his idea.

When God created the world, he created a man named Adam.  He lived in the paradise of Eden. But something was missing. Even in this utopian world, Adam was lonely. God saw this and understood the needs and desires of Adam’s heart. God caused Adam to fall into a deep sleep. While he was sleeping, God took one of Adam’s ribs and used the rib in his creation of woman.

Can you imagine Adam’s reaction when he woke up? Keep in mind, Adam had just gone through the process of naming the animals of God’s creation. It had been an interesting process, but none of the animals really did anything for Adam, if you know what I mean. He didn’t look at an animal and say, “I’ll call you hippo, and by the way, what are you doing Saturday night?” All he has seen are animals. Now, after a long nap, he opens his eyes and sees this lady that we know as Eve. Can you imagine his reaction? Adam immediately noticed that men and women are different, and I’m pretty sure he said, “Different is good!”

Genesis 1:27 reminds us, “God created people in his own image; God patterned them after himself; male and female he created them.” (Genesis 1:27, NLT)

Male and female. Different. God created ladies with a tenderness not known to men. He created them to be mothers, who have a capacity to love that most men will never know. He created them with heart and emotion to complement the rigidity of many men. He created a woman to, at times, confound the mind of a man, but also to own that same man’s heart and soul.

Guys, let’s keep these differences in mind, especially with our wives. Your wife has some very special needs. But you know what she needs more than anything? You. She needs you. She needs your undivided attention. She needs to talk with you. She needs you to cuddle with her, to hug and kiss her like you used to. She needs you. She is different from you, so you need to be sure that everything is ok, not just in your mind, but in hers as well. That may involve doing a little marital inventory with her. Sit down, just the two of you, and really talk with her. Find out what she needs. Don’t assume that you’re such a smooth Casanova that you always know everything. Your wife has different needs than you do, and it’s your job to take care of her.

Ladies, our culture has a fanatical feminist agenda. We just studied last week how The Da Vinci Code pushes this radical feminism. That’s just one example from our society. Our culture’s militant feminist agenda will tell you to compete with men. Beat them at their own game. Be more of a man than a man is. Understand, that was never God’s plan. Now, I’m not saying women can’t work, women can’t play sports, or anything like that. Not at all. I’m not a sexist. More importantly, God isn’t a sexist. What we’re saying is that God created femininity. His idea all along was for you to be different from us men. And I’ve gotta tell you, I’m glad. Glorify God by being who he created you to be. If you’re a little tomboyish, then be that. If you’re a frilly girly-girl, then be that. God rejects hypocrisy, but he honors authenticity. And He is looking for godly women to be authentic. To show our world what a real, godly woman looks like. God created you to be different.

God’s second affirmation for our ladies: “My eyes are the eyes you need to please.” This second affirmation of God flies in the face of what our world believes. God says, “My eyes are the eyes you need to please.” But our culture is telling ladies, particularly teenagers and even younger, the eyes you really need to please is a man’s eyes. I want to talk specifically to our teen girls for a second. I know I’ve been talking about marriage and all that stuff, but this is for our young ladies. You need to hear this.

Our culture will teach you that, to be noticed by a guy, you’ve gotta show skin. You’ve gotta show him what you’ve got if you want to be noticed. That’s the only way you’re going to land a guy. And then, if you want to keep him, you’ve gotta give him what he wants.

Girls, if the only way you can get a particular guy to notice you is to show skin, if the only way you can keep this boyfriend is by giving in to his sexual advances…that guy is not worth your time. He is not worthy of you. You are a princess of God, and you deserve better.

This affirmation of God is counter-culture, but God’s truth always is. God is telling you, “My eyes are the eyes you need to please.” Let me show you a Scripture from 1 Peter 3.

“Don't be concerned about the outward beauty that depends on fancy hairstyles, expensive jewelry, or beautiful clothes. You should be known for the beauty that comes from within, the unfading beauty of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is so precious to God.” (1 Peter 3:3-4, NLT)

Did you catch that? God sees women as having an inner beauty. The beauty of your spirit inside you. In other words, you’re already beautiful. God saw to that the day he created you. You may not like what you see in the mirror, but God has never said that about you. You are beautiful. He created you that way. You don’t have to show off the outside to find acceptance. Let your beauty come from that person that’s inside.

And look at this verse from 1 Samuel. “The Lord does not look at the things man looks at. Man looks at the outward appearance, but the Lord looks at the heart.” (1 Samuel 16:7b, NIV)

Do you see a pattern in these verses? Your beauty comes from the inside out. Ladies, our world is selling a lie. The only way to have value is to find acceptance in the eyes of a man. And the only way to do that is to showcase your body, to dress and act sexy.

God’s idea is different. He wants you to find acceptance in his eyes. And girls, it may require a little patience, but there is a guy out there who is looking for a godly girlfriend, and eventually a godly wife. And when you find that guy, you’ll find that it was worth the wait.

Parents, especially fathers, let’s foster this attitude in our homes. If you want your daughters to seek out godly fellas to date and eventually to marry, you need to be modeling that godliness in your home. Your daughters should be seeing their dads treat their moms with honor, respect, and love. Show them that you think their mom is beautiful, inside and out. Show them that their mom is pleasing in God’s sight, and that makes her all the more attractive in your sight.

God has a third affirmation for you ladies: “‘Wife’ and ‘Mom’ are not bad words.” Now, there are plenty of wives and moms who want to SAY bad words because of their husbands or their children, but wife and mom are not bad words.

There is an attack on the family that is being waged in our culture. Our society increasingly believes that the family is not necessary. Marriage is out-dated, a thing of the past. Living together is absolutely acceptable because marriage doesn’t work anymore. Marriage should not be limited to a man and a woman. Same sex couples deserve the same rights of marriage and adoption that traditional couples enjoy.

But listen this morning. Tune out the noise, block out the agenda of our culture. There’s the still small voice of God saying, “I created the family, and it still works.” God’s plan is one man, one woman, for life. His plan is for the father to be the spiritual leader of the home. The mother is to be respected and esteemed. Children are to be loved, cherished, and disciplined. That’s not politically correct, but it is spiritually correct.

Ladies, your role as a wife and as a mother is losing respect in our culture, but that role is honored by the Lord. If you need a boost, go home and read Proverbs 31.

Husbands, this is a good read for us, too. Verse 10 reminds us that our wives are “worth far more than rubies.” If we want our kids to respect and love their mother, they need to see it modeled in their father. How long has it been since you showed your wife how much she is really worth to you? Bob Marcho offers husbands some practical tips.

1. Continue the courtship after marriage.

2. Show appreciation for the many things your wife does.

3. Stop complaining so much. With some husbands, nothing is ever right.

4. Be a real leader. Provide courage, strength and independence for the home

5. Take an interest in the home. Bringing home the bacon is not the only thing the husband is responsible for doing.

6. Gain the right concept of marriage. Don’t think of your wife as just a sexual partner or a household servant. Think of her as a person with worth and dignity in the sight of God.

7. Learn about the emotional and psychological differences between men and women.

8. Make it clear to your wife that she is essential to your happiness.

9. Do not act or speak harshly to your wife because you are tired and irritable from daily problems.

Our culture may have other ideas, but God’s truth will stand. And the truth of God is that he honors marriage and motherhood. Our wives and moms need to get that same honor from us.

Ladies, God has one final affirmation for you this morning: “You are my daughter and I love you.”

Look at this simple promise form God in 2 Corinthians 6.   “I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters,” says the LORD Almighty.” (2 Corinthians 6:17b-18, NKJV)

Some of you ladies had bad, even abusive, relationships with your earthly father. Some of you had no relationship with your father at all. The love of God almost sounds too good to be true. A Father who looks at you, his daughter, through eyes that know nothing but love for you. But that’s the kind of God we have. You are a princess in his eyes.

One more Scripture: “Long ago, even before he made the world, God loved us and chose us in Christ to be holy and without fault in his eyes. His unchanging plan has always been to adopt us into his own family by bringing us to himself through Jesus Christ.   And this gave him great pleasure. So we praise God for the wonderful kindness he has poured out on us because we belong to his dearly loved Son.” (1 Corinthians 1:4-6, NLT)

You are the daughter of God because he chose you. He adopted you into his family. That’s why Jesus died. So that our sin could be forgiven and we could all be a part of the family of God.

As we said at the beginning, our culture has some very definite ideas about women. But we need to look past our culture to God’s Word for truth. And these are God’s affirmations of truth: 1. I created you to be different. 2. My eyes are the eyes you need to please. 3. ‘Wife’ and ‘Mom’ are not bad words. 4. You are my daughter and I love you.

This love of God is available to anyone, men and women alike. We can all be adopted as sons and daughters into the family of God. It’s why Jesus died. And if you’ve never accepted him as your Savior and Lord, we invite you to do that today. He died on the cross so you could become his child. No matter what is in your past or even in your present, he loves you, he wants to forgive you, and he wants to adopt you into his family. Will you accept him today?

Mike Edmisten