Amelia Church of Christ - Christian Church in Amelia, OH near Cincinnati in Clermont County

This is the last message in our Parenthood series. God is moving in the families of our church. I’ve had so many conversations. I’ve seen so many practical examples of how God is working in our families. And He gets all the credit and all the glory for that.

This series has been entirely of God. I’ve only been a parent for six years. I’m not qualified to teach on the subject of parenthood because, in a lot of ways, I’m still new to the game.

But the Word of God has authority. It has power. The Spirit of God moves in ways that are beyond our comprehension. I’m not up here preaching my opinions. And, in a lot of ways, I’m not preaching my experience. I’m preaching the Bible. And God is using it in ways that blow my mind. And I absolutely believe He’s going to do it one more time. Let’s get after it.

Anyone who has been a parent for any length of time has the equivalent of a pre-med education. We may not be able to cure cancer, but we sure as heck know how to bandage a knee. We’ve made trips to the ER for broken bones. We’ve gained a working knowledge of crutches, casts, and stitches. It’s just part and parcel of this thing called parenthood. Your child is going to get hurt and you quickly learn some basics about how to handle it.

But there is also a much more serious side to it. No one likes to see their child in physical pain, but physical pain isn’t the only pain that your child will experience. Life is going to rough them up. Pain, heartache, and hurt will come their way. And that’s when parents need to step up.

Your home is a trauma center. Your kids should know that, when they are hurting, when they stumble, when they fail…home is where they need to be. Home is where they will be comforted. Home is where they can find healing.

That’s what we’re going to explore today. We’ll be in Galatians 6 right after we pray.

Galatians 6, starting in verse 1. The Bible says, “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-2, NIV)

Historically, people have used these verses to describe relationships within the church. And that is the primary target that Paul was writing to. But I don’t see any reason not to apply these same principles in our families and in our parenting. In fact, if we take these truths and plug them into our parenting game plan, the results would be incredible.

So let’s spend some time unpacking what the Bible is telling us in these verses.

These verses talk about someone who is caught in a sin. The Greek word for sin here literally means “a falling to the side.” Knowing that really changes our perspective. When I hear “falling to the side,” I immediately think of this story that Jesus told in Luke 10.

Starting in verse 30. “In reply Jesus said: “A man was going down from Jerusalem to Jericho, when he fell into the hands of robbers. They stripped him of his clothes, beat him and went away, leaving him half dead. A priest happened to be going down the same road, and when he saw the man, he passed by on the other side. So too, a Levite, when he came to the place and saw him, passed by on the other side. But a Samaritan, as he traveled, came where the man was; and when he saw him, he took pity on him. He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him. The next day he took out two silver coins and gave them to the innkeeper. ‘Look after him,’ he said, ‘and when I return, I will reimburse you for any extra expense you may have.’

Which of these three do you think was a neighbor to the man who fell into the hands of robbers?

The expert in the law replied, “The one who had mercy on him.”

Jesus told him, “Go and do likewise.” (Luke 10:30-37, NIV)

The man in the story was beaten and bloodied and left for dead. Your kids will be, too. Your kids will be beaten and bloodied. They will sin. They will fall to the side. The question is not, “Is this going to happen?” The question is, “What we will do as parents when it happens?”

Your kids will fall into sin. They will. You can raise them in the best, most godly way you know how. You can read the Bible with them. You can pray with them. You can make sure they are plugged into the church. And they will still sin.

And some of it will blow your mind. They will make horrendously bad choices. Choices that will carry heavy, heavy consequences. They will make sinful choices that will wreak havoc in their lives.

It’s a crushing thing for us as moms and dads. But our reaction when this happens is critical.

What do you do? As a Christ-following parent, what do you do? You take your cues from Jesus’ story.

The first thing you do is pick them up. The Samaritan in our story went to the wounded man, picked him up off the road, put him on his donkey, and took him to an inn.

The Levite and the priest…who by the way were the religious elite of the time…these super religious guys crossed over on the other side. They couldn’t be involved in picking up such a wounded man.

A lot of times religious people specialize in kicking someone while they’re down. It happens all the time. When someone falls into sin, religious people are very quick to pull out Bible verses proclaiming how horrible this sin is and that this person is on the fast track to hell.

When you look at our text in Galatians, you easily see that our first response is grace. Our first response is one of compassion, not condemnation.

Parents, when your child falls, grace is the first responder on the scene.

Is that the way it actually is in your parenting? Let me ask you something, mom and dad…

What would be your reaction if your teenage daughter came to you with the words, “I’m pregnant?”

How you would react if you found out that your son is addicted to drugs?

What would be your first response if you found out that your child has fallen into sin? After all your teaching…after growing up in the church…after everything you’ve done, they still did this.

Let me tell you something, parents. It’s going to happen. They will fall into sin. I can’t tell you what the sin will be. I can’t tell you exactly how it will happen, but I will tell you that you can’t sin-proof your kids just like you can’t sin-proof yourself.

Look at 1 John 1:8. The Bible couldn’t be clearer. “If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us.” (1 John 1:8, NIV)

We will never live a sinless life. Some religious people teach that you can work your way up to a perfect life. If you try hard enough, you read your Bible long enough, you pray intensely enough, you’ll be able to eventually live a life with no sin.

That is heresy. It is a heretical lie straight from the pit of hell because, if that was true, then the cross was meaningless. It was useless. If we can work our way to perfection, we didn’t need Jesus to be our substitute. We didn’t need Him to be our scapegoat. We didn’t need Him to die on our behalf because we can do it on our own.

You will never live a perfect life. You will never live a sinless life. And your children won’t, either.

Your kids will fall into sin, and it might be a sin that will absolutely make your head spin. And, in that moment, when you find out and your child is completely vulnerable before you, grace is the first response.

You will be broken. You will be incredibly disappointed. You will be angry.

But, in that moment, they need to know, more than anything, that you love them. You haven’t given up on them. You will pick them up. In those moments, your home really does become a trauma center where grace is the first medicine that is administered.

The first step is to pick them up. Then, you clean them up.

In the story of the Good Samaritan…the Samaritan picked the man up from the side of the road. Then he cleaned him up. He used oil and wine to disinfect the wounds. He bandaged him up.

He picked him up. Then he cleaned him up.

One without the other is useless. If the Samaritan had picked him up but not cleaned him up, the man could have still died from his wounds. He wouldn’t have died on the side of the road, but he would have still died.

On the flip side, if the Samaritan cleaned him up, but didn’t pick him up…the man would have been stuck right where he was. He still wasn’t able to walk. He would know he was clean, but he would have still died on the roadside.

Listen to how the Bible describes Jesus in John 1. “The Word became flesh and made his dwelling among us. We have seen his glory, the glory of the One and Only, who came from the Father, full of grace and truth.” (John 1:14, NIV)

Jesus was full of grace and truth. Not grace or truth. Grace and truth.

He is our model. We have to follow His example and walk the tightrope of grace and truth. It’s a very difficult balance, but we have to go in knowing that one or the other won’t do it. It’s not grace or truth. It’s grace and truth.

A lot of Christians are either all grace and no truth or all truth and no grace. All grace excuses all sin offering no correction. All truth condemns all sin offering no forgiveness.

When your kids fall, and they will, grace is the first response. But there also has to be the response of truth. There has to be time where you sit down and discuss what went wrong. Where you shine light on the choices that have been made. Where you make it very clear that this is sinful and your child has missed the mark.

If grace comes first, then your child will be more open and available to receive the truth. If truth comes first, then grace will later seem to be too little, too late.

There must be discipline. We talked about that a couple of weeks ago. It is a non-negotiable. But it also has to be well-timed. When your child falls into sin, your job as their parent is to pick them up. And then clean them up.

Let’s go back and read our text in Galatians again. “Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore him gently. But watch yourself, or you also may be tempted. Carry each other's burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.” (Galatians 6:1-2, NIV)

The Greek word “restore” is also in other places in the New Testament. And when you see how it is used in other places, you really get the full idea of what God is driving at here.

The word shows up in Matthew 4:21. “And going on from there [Jesus] saw two other brothers, James the son of Zebedee and John his brother, in the boat with Zebedee their father, mending their nets, and he called them.” (Matthew 4:21, ESV)

The Greek word used for mending their nets is the same word for used for restoring a broken person in our text in Galatians. That is incredibly significant.

Kenny Boles wrote that “the idea is to take something that is broken, incomplete, or defective and to put it back into working condition. When this is done to broken people it must be done gently.”

When your child falls, your ultimate goal is to help them find wholeness and healing. That’s why we’re called to restore, or mend, them gently. It’s all about healing what is broken.

And, for a time, it means carrying the burden for them. Sometimes the weight will be too much for you child. You’ve got to carry it for them.

Go back to Luke 10. Focus in on verse 34. This is what the Samaritan did when he found the wounded man. “He went to him and bandaged his wounds, pouring on oil and wine. Then he put the man on his own donkey, took him to an inn and took care of him.” (Luke 10:34, NIV)

After he picked him up and cleaned him up, he put the wounded man on his own donkey. That meant that the Samaritan would be walking. He would be walking the walk that the wounded man couldn’t walk himself.

There will be times when you’ve got to let your child ride because they are too wounded to walk. You’ve got to walk the walk that they can’t walk. You’ve got to carry the burden that they can’t carry.

Why do you do this? Because this is what Jesus did for you. Listen to what the prophet Isaiah wrote about Jesus.

“Surely he took up our infirmities and carried our sorrows, yet we considered him stricken by God, smitten by him, and afflicted. But he was pierced for our transgressions, he was crushed for our iniquities; the punishment that brought us peace was upon him, and by his wounds we are healed.

We all, like sheep, have gone astray, each of us has turned to his own way; and the LORD has laid on him the iniquity of us all.” (Isaiah 53:4-6, NIV)

Jesus took our infirmities and sorrows. He was pierced and crushed for our sin. Our punishment was on him. God laid all of our iniquity and evil and sin on Him.

He carried the burden that we could never carry. And there are moments when you have to be Jesus to your children and carry the burdens that they can’t carry alone.

It means being willing to get down and dirty. It is messy business. Do you honestly think the Samaritan stayed clean when he helped the wounded man? No chance. He got down into the muddy ditch where this guy was lying. He was covered in the man’s blood.

You’ve got to be willing to get dirty. When you carry the burdens of your kids, when they fall into sin and you bear their burdens…you will have to sacrifice your reputation.

Some people will point gossiping fingers…but you can’t afford to care about that. Others will preach to you about how you’re doing it wrong. They’ll offer a lot of unsolicited advice about how to handle it.

You’ve got to turn a deaf ear to all of that. Pray like crazy for God to guide you, and then pick up your child, pick up their brokenness and burdens, and carry it for as long as you have to.

And be encouraged by these words. Go back to Galatians 6 one more time. “In this way you will fulfill the law of Christ.”

That has to be the driving force behind this. Not everyone will approve of what you’re doing, but Jesus will. And really, who else do you need to please? The opinions of others mean nothing. The opinion of Jesus means everything.

Now, we do need to say this…there is a difference between carrying burdens and just being an enabler. You don’t want to enable your kids to keep going back to their sinful ways over and over again.

I’m not talking about your deadbeat grown up son who keeps hitting you up for money because he won’t get off his butt and go to work. Giving him money isn’t bearing his burden. It’s enabling him to be a bum.

That’s not what we’re talking about. We’re talking about, in the moments of true brokenness, you pick up your child and carry their burdens because they just can’t do it anymore.

You will have to have the faith that they don’t have. You’ll have to pray the prayers that they can’t pray. You’ve got to carry that load until they regain the strength to do it themselves.

But here’s where we have to be careful. We have to be very careful about the culture we create in our homes. If we create a culture of confession…where our kids know they are free to confess their shortcomings and sins…we will set the table for this kind of thing to happen.

But too many of us don’t create a culture of confession. We create a culture of concealment. That means that, if something is wrong, you conceal it. You definitely don’t confess it. You cover it up. You conceal it.

If you have a culture of concealment in your home, then your kids will feel like the trauma center is closed…that they can’t bring their burdens and brokenness there. And the result is that they will go somewhere else to find it…with disastrous results.

I remember the girl who was in my ministry when I was a student minister. She couldn’t bring her brokenness home. Her older sister was seemingly perfect and her parents did a lot of the, “Why can’t you be more like your sister?” thing.

That made this girl feel like she could never open up to her parents about anything that would make her seem less perfect. So she turned to a razor blade. She would cut herself as a release for her brokenness. If she felt the physical pain, that would deaden the more serious emotional and spiritual pain she was experiencing. It was devastating.

Parents, what is the culture in your house? Is it a culture of confession or a culture of concealment?

If it is a culture of concealment, then let this Scripture from James 5 sink into your mind and heart.

“Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.” (James 5:16a, NIV)

Healing comes through confession. The guaranteed way for your kids to live a broken and devastated life is for them to believe that they can’t confess things to you. Confession brings healing. A culture of concealment in your home is a kill shot for your kids.

Some of us have big changes to make. When you talk about changing the existing culture, it’s going to take time. That’s true for anything. If you want to change the culture of a business, it takes time. If you want to change the culture of a church, it takes time. And yeah, if you want to change the culture of a family, it takes time. But you’ve got to get it started.

For some of us, it’s going to start with a one-on-one conversation with all your kids. It will involve a profuse apology from you and a commitment that the culture will change in the house.

They will probably be skeptical at first. You’ll have to prove it to them. And when they test the waters and confess something to you, your reaction in that moment will tell them instantly whether things are really changing or you just fed them a line of baloney.

We just cannot afford to get this one wrong, mom and dad. Your home is the trauma center your kids need. They will fall to the side. They will sin. They will be beaten and battered and bruised in their lives.

That’s when you become Jesus to them. Remember how Jesus has always treated you.

Isaiah 42 reminds us that, when it comes to Jesus, “A bruised reed he will not break, and a smoldering wick he will not snuff out.” (Isaiah 42:3a, NIV)

That’s how Jesus treats us. Praise God, that’s how Jesus treats us. And that’s the example we’re called to follow in our church and in our homes.

This isn’t a game. So many Christians treat it like it’s a game. It’s a masquerade party. Put on a mask, come to church, and make everybody believe that you’ve got it all together. There is no brokenness in your life. There is most certainly no sin in your life. That’s what following Jesus is all about. Faking it. Being a poser. Living a masquerade.

I don’t know about you, but I’m sick of it. I’m sick of the fakeness of modern-day Christianity. I’m sick of the game. I’m sick of the culture of concealment instead of the biblical culture of confession. I’m sick of people never being healed because they can never open up about their struggles.

I’m sick of doing church that way. I’m sick of seeing families operate that way. It has got to stop. And, by the grace of God, it can stop. It can change.

There are people in this room today who need to drop the mask. Stop faking it. And get real about confession. Maybe you need to do that in your small group. Maybe you need to do it in front of the entire church today.

There are moms and dads in this room who need to kick open the door of confession in your home. Your kids’ lives are at stake. If they don’t really believe that they can bring anything, and I mean anything, to you, they don’t have a chance. You can’t even calculate the damning effect it will have on their lives.

Jesus doesn’t kick us when we’re down. He is gentle. He is compassionate. He picks us up and He cleans us up. That is the culture that has to be created in His church. And that is the culture that has be created in our families.

Mike Edmisten

Tags: Good Samaritan, grace, Parenthood, parenting