Amelia Church of Christ - Christian Church in Amelia, OH near Cincinnati in Clermont County

Come on. Did they really think bullets from a couple of pistols were going to stop the Duke boys? If you’re familiar with The Dukes of Hazzard at all, then you know that the General Lee had what it takes to fly high. Altitude was never a problem for Bo & Luke Duke when they were in their 1969 Dodge Charger, equipped with a 426 Hemi under the hood. They had the horsepower needed to fly. In fact, they flew over 100 feet in some episodes.

God has implanted in each of us the capability of reaching new heights. He has given us the horsepower to fly. But to reach the highest altitudes, we have to tune up our engine a little. It all boils down to our attitude. Your attitude determines your altitude.

In this series so far, we’ve talked about three different attitudes that are key to flying higher in our lives and in our church. Our attitude about God. Our attitude about sin. And our attitude about God’s Word & prayer. This week, we’re moving on to our attitude about each other. We’re going to use a short passage from Ephesians 4 as we think about this key attitude.

A couple of weeks ago I was shopping at a store in Beechmont. I was looking for a piece of office furniture. The computer at the store said it was in stock, but no one could seem to find it. I was there for over an hour as they tried to figure out what was going on. During my hour-long stay in this store, I saw a lot of customers come and go. I distinctly remember one of them. A guy came in and asked if he could buy a computer printer with an IOU because he had forgotten his wallet at home. I wasn’t surprised when the cashier politely said, “No sir, I’m afraid we can’t do that.” He kept pushing the issue, and she kept politely telling him that they just couldn’t do that. At this point, he got irate, demanding this printer. And then this is the part that I remember. As he was yelling at this innocent girl behind the register, he told her that his church needed this printer right now! And then he stormed out of the store.

After he left, the girl looked at me and I could read her mind. She was thinking what everyone else in the store was thinking: This guy was a total jerk. And not only was he a jerk, but in his tirade, he announced that he was part of a church. He was a Christian jerk. I couldn’t help but feel sad because of this pathetic display I had just witnessed, but unfortunately it’s not uncommon. Christians are not always known for their Christlike attitude toward others. I’ve known waitresses who hated working on Sundays because you had to deal with the church crowd. Bad attitudes and poor tippers. I’ve known ballfields that banned church softball teams because there were too many arguments and fights.

God has something to say about this. If we want our lives and our church to reach new altitudes, then we have to have a right attitude about each other.

In Ephesians 4, the apostle Paul writes, “I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” (Ephesians 4:1-2, NLT)

In this short passage, there are three keys to our attitude about each other. The first key is to Be Humble. This would have come as a surprise to the people of Paul’s day. Humility was not considered a virtue. In fact, humility was an attitude that was only proper for a slave. Paul was calling the early Christians to live counter to their culture.

And not much has changed. Our culture may give lip-service to valuing humility, but those words don’t often carry over into results. We still live in a society that worships spoiled celebrities and arrogant athletes. Our American mindset tells us to watch out for #1. There’s not much room for humility in our culture.

I think the people of Paul’s day had it right. Humility is an attitude that is only proper for a slave. The Bible reminds each of us that, “…you are now a slave of Christ.” (1 Corinthians 7:22, NLT) Living in humility is still counter-culture, and that’s exactly how God planned it. To live as humble servants of Jesus.

Humility will ask, “What is best for this person?” instead of asking, “What is best for me?” Humility will ask, “Will this please God?” before asking, “Will this please me?” Humility will ask, “Will this build Christ up?” rather than asking, “Will this build me up?” Humility is not thinking less of yourself; it’s thinking of yourself less.

This attitude of humility should flesh itself out in very practical ways in our lives and in our church. One of the great disagreements in the church over the last decade has been about the style of worship music. In many of these disagreements, there hasn’t been a whole lot of humility demonstrated on either side of the issue. In fact, it has been just the opposite. Instead of asking what’s best for another person, the focus has been on what I want. It’s been all about me, me, me. That’s not a real demonstration of a humble servant attitude. Humility looks out for the good of the other person.

This morning, we sang a song that I don’t particularly like. I’m not going to tell you which one it was because it doesn’t matter. It doesn’t matter because it’s not about me.

A few months ago during my interview process here at Amelia, one of the questions I was asked was, “What is the number one reason that many churches don’t grow?” I answered with one word: Selfishness. When people selfishly look out for their own interests, the church will not grow. When people selfishly do things that only please them instead of starting ministries to relate the lost, the church will not grow. When people selfishly create cliques instead of creating a warm, welcoming atmosphere, the church will not grow. When people selfishly want to maintain a comfortable church instead of creating a church that is willing to try something new to carry out the Great Commission, the church will not grow.

The key is to humbly admit that it’s not about me. The church could fly so much higher if people would adopt this attitude. Bickering would cease. Power struggles would end. Division would disappear. That’s the kind of church that I want to be a part of. That’s the kind of church people in our community want to be a part of, because that’s the kind of church that is going to soar to altitudes it has never experienced before. For us to be that kind of church, it’s going to require every single person to adopt the attitude of a humble servant. It’s going to require every single one of us to say, “Well, I may not like this or that, but it’s not about me.”

“All of you, clothe yourselves with humility toward one another, because, “God opposes the proud, but gives grace to the humble.”” (1 Peter 5:5, NIV) God tells us, “When you get dressed to come to church, go to work or school, or even to just hang out with your family, the first thing I want you to put on is a humble attitude.” Remember that your attitude will determine your altitude every day.

Let’s go back to our theme verse for this morning. Paul points out a second key in our attitude toward each other. Be Gentle.

My son Ryan is 19 months old and he fancies himself as a big helper. He loves to “help” us do whatever it is that we’re doing. One of his favorite ways to help is to help other people brush their hair. After we brush his hair, then he wants to return the favor by brushing our hair, which can be interesting. When he first started doing this, he had a tendency to take hard plastic brush and whack someone on the head. In his mind, he was brushing your hair. If he did that to you, you would see things quite differently, I promise. When he would whack me on the head, I could’ve taken the brush and whacked him on the head and say, “See how it feels?” But instead I showed him how to be gentle, and it didn’t take long at all for him to learn how to do it gently. He learned gentleness from our gentle example. That’s God’s desire for us. To be gentle people following the gentle example of Jesus.

Now, as we’re thinking through this, we all need to understand that when Paul wrote this verse in Ephesians, the word he used doesn’t suggest weakness. It suggests power held under control. A weak person yields because he is helpless to do anything else. A gentle person yields his superior strength because he seeks the well-being of others. Do you see how gentleness and humility go hand-in-hand?

During my student ministry career, I worked at a very rural church in Adams County. When you’re a youth minister at a rural church, you do different things then you would at a suburban or an urban church. One of those things was attending animal shows at the county fairs. I attended two county fairs each year to watch our students show their animals. I’ve watched students show sheep, hogs, goats, dairy cows, llamas, turkeys, chickens, you name it. But my favorite show to go to was always the steer show. We had several families in our church that always did very well, many times bringing home the grand or reserve champion steers. But one thing that always amazed me was when these very small children would participate in the show. It’s one thing to see a high school student showing their steer. It’s quite another when you watch a little 6-year-old boy leading a 1200 lb. steer around the show arena. The steer is obviously more powerful than the little boy, but a good steer will yield its superior power to its handler.

That’s Paul’s idea when he says that we should be gentle people. He’s not telling us to be weak; he’s telling us to be wise. To be wise about how we use our influence and our power. To be wise about holding our power under control when necessary.

Every church has what I call “power brokers.” They wield a lot of power and influence in the church. But the best church leaders aren’t power-hungry people. When people in the church make a power grab, God isn’t glorified or pleased. Instead, God is looking for people who will hold their power under control for the good of the entire church. A gentle person has the power to do what he/she wants, but instead chooses to withhold that power to do what the church needs. Instead of an iron fist, there is an open hand ready to minister to others. Again, do you see how humility and gentleness go hand-in-hand? Both attitudes admit that, “It’s not about me.”

One of the gentlest people I’ve ever known was my grandfather. He’s been gone for a while now. He died in 1988. I was still young when he died, but I was old enough to carry away a lot of good memories. One memory I have was when Pappaw and I were fishing at a local farm pond. The farmer had told us to watch out for the ram out in the field. He was breeding his goats, and this particular ram was pretty aggressive. Well, I wasn’t paying any attention. I was just busy fishing and having a grand old time. But then suddenly my grandpa grabbed my hand and started running. The ram had decided to charge us and I never saw it coming. When we got to the fence, I got my feet stuck in the mud. In one motion, my gentle grandpa grabbed me, picked me up, and threw me over the fence before the ram could get to me. He was a gentle man, but he was not a weak man. When he needed to use his power to save me, he did. Being gentle does not mean you’re weak; it means that you’re wise. You’re able to withhold your power. You’re wise about how to use your power to help someone else.

Back to our verse for one more key to our attitude about each other. Be Patient. The word that Paul uses here literally means to have a long fuse. This is in contrast to a short-fused temper.

I used to drive a Ford Ranger pick-up truck. I bought it brand new. Not long after I got my truck, the armrest between the driver & passenger seats broke. Actually, I broke it. I broke it when I slammed my fist down on it in a fit of anger. I had that truck for years, and in all those years, I was never able to fix the armrest. It was broken the entire time I owned my truck. Every time I drove my truck, that broken armrest was there as a constant reminder of a time when I lost my temper.

Some of you probably have similar stories. A time when you lost your temper. A time when you broke something in anger. Worse, a time when you deeply hurt someone because of an angry word or even a violent action.

Those of us with a short-fused temper need to know that God is calling us to a higher standard. Gentleness is keeping your power under control. Patience is keeping your temper under control. That’s what God does. God is described as, “a forgiving God, gracious and compassionate, slow to anger and abounding in love.” (Nehemiah 9:17, NIV) Literally, this means that God has a long fuse. When we exercise this kind of long-fused patience, we are more like God.

Paul gives us a very practical description of how this kind of patience works in our theme verse. “Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” In other words, this kind of patient love understands that people aren’t perfect. It allows mistakes. It overlooks a lapse in judgment. This type of patience may correct, but it doesn’t criticize. It may instruct, but it doesn’t insult.

We need to understand how our attitude affects those around us. If we are known as a person with a short fuse, a person who has a tendency to lash out, then we shouldn’t be surprised when people close up around us. When they walk on eggshells so they don’t set off our powder keg of a personality. This is why anger can destroy friendships, wreck marriages, and divide churches.

Typically, angry people tend to pass the buck. “It’s just how I am. It’s just my nature.” Our sinful nature is the very thing that we are striving to overcome.

The best way to lengthen our fuse and to overlook the shortcomings of others is to remember how much God has had to overlook in your own life. Before I fly off the handle, before I criticize and tear someone down, I need to remember all the times that God needed to have a very long fuse in dealing with me.

Let’s look at our theme passage one more time. “I, a prisoner for serving the Lord, beg you to lead a life worthy of your calling, for you have been called by God. Be humble and gentle. Be patient with each other, making allowance for each other’s faults because of your love.” (Ephesians 4:1-2, NLT) Be humble. Be gentle. Be patient. Paul calls us to lead a life worthy of our calling from God. Anything less than these three ideals falls short of our calling.

In actuality, there is no way we can live in a way that is worthy of God’s calling. We will always fall short. But, even when God’s standard is beyond our reach, it is still the right goal. We cannot be content with where we are. We have to keep striving to live more like Jesus. In our attitude about each other, the goals of humility, gentleness, and patience are tough. But God is there encouraging us to keep on trying. Keep on going. Keep on reaching for those high altitudes. And when you fall, I’ll pick you up and give you another chance.

That’s what grace does. It offers another chance when we mess things up. Some of you are in desperate need of a second chance. You need a new start. That’s exactly what God offers when you commit your life to him. Jesus died in your place to give you another chance. If you haven’t accepted him as your Savior and Lord, if you’ve never had your sins washed away in baptism so you could have a fresh start, when invite you to come today.

Mike Edmisten